As I sat on the seventh floor of Northwestern University’s Kellogg building, looking out at the still blue of Lake Michigan, I received a text from a friend.
“Why Divorce Mediation?”
It was a fair question. I was in the middle of an intensive divorce mediation training, and it seemed to be a divergent path from the clinical and nonprofit work I find great satisfaction in.
When we spoke the following week, I realized the answer was not complicated at all and was far from divergent. It was what I have been doing for decades, only now I can expand who I do it for.
Years ago, I made a commitment to dedicate my professional life to making a positive difference in the lives of young people and the families around them. That commitment guided every major professional decision I have made: pursuing my PhD in Clinical Psychology, focusing my clinical work on children, adolescents, and families, working in school administration, serving in a youth-focused nonprofit, and seeing clients in a private therapy practice.
So why divorce mediation? Because it is another pathway to do exactly what I have been doing all along. Helping children and their families.
When my parents divorced, I was just three years old. I do not remember conflict, but I do remember the silence. I remember the unspoken changes, the adjustments, the quiet confusion. Divorce, even when peaceful, leaves a lasting imprint on a child’s world. There are ripples that reach far into adulthood, shaping how we love, trust, and connect.
I have spent my career trying to minimize those ripples. In therapy rooms, in schools, in nonprofit boardrooms. What I came to understand over time is that one of the most powerful points of intervention is the divorce process itself. Not after the damage is done. Not years later in a therapy office. But right there, in the room, while the decisions that will shape a family’s next chapter are still being made.
That is what divorce mediation makes possible.
When two people choose mediation over litigation, they choose a process that reduces conflict rather than amplifying it. They keep the decisions about their family in their own hands rather than surrendering them to a courtroom. They give themselves and their children a better chance at what comes next.
And when children are part of that process, when their voices and experiences are brought into the room in a thoughtful, age-appropriate way, something even more powerful becomes possible. Parents make decisions not just based on what they want or what they fear, but on what their children actually need. That shift changes everything.
I also continued my training in Child-Inclusive Mediation, a specialty that brings children’s voices and experiences directly into the heart of the process. Not to have them make adult decisions. But to make sure the adults making the decisions actually understand what their children are living through. Their perspectives can guide parenting plans in ways that honor their experiences and support their emotional wellbeing.
When done well, it is not just about avoiding harm. It is about fostering resilience, healing, and hope.
So when people ask me why divorce mediation, my answer is simple.
Because families deserve a process that treats them with dignity. Because children deserve to be seen, heard, and considered, especially when their world is changing. Because the decisions made in the middle of a divorce will echo forward into the lives of everyone involved for years, and those decisions deserve to be made thoughtfully, with support, and with the whole family in mind.
That is what I am here to help with. That is why.
You can schedule a free consultation at lakeshoremediation.com or reach me at 773-823-0625
