As I sat on the seventh floor of Northwestern University’s Kellogg building, looking out at the still blue of Lake Michigan, I received a text from a friend:
“Why Divorce Mediation?”
It was a fair question. I was in the middle of an intensive Divorce Mediation training, which I followed with another intensive training on Child-Inclusive Divorce Mediation, a specialty that brings children’s voices and experiences into the heart of the mediation process. It seemed to be a divergent path from the clinical and nonprofit work I find great satisfaction in.
When we spoke the following week, I realized the answer wasn’t complicated at all and was far from divergent. It was what I have been doing for decades, only now I can expand who I do it for.
Years ago, I made a commitment to dedicate my professional life to making a positive difference in the lives of young people. That commitment guided every major professional decision I have made: pursuing my PhD in Clinical Psychology, focusing my clinical work on children, adolescents, and families, working in school administration, serving in a youth-focused nonprofit, and maintaining a private therapy practice.
So why divorce mediation? Because it is another pathway to do exactly what I have been doing all along—helping children and their families.
When my parents divorced, I was just three years old. I don’t remember conflict, but I do remember the silence. I remember the unspoken changes, the adjustments, the quiet confusion. Divorce, even when peaceful or when one parent chooses to be out of the picture, leaves a lasting imprint on a child’s world. There are ripples that reach far into adulthood, shaping how we love, trust, and connect.
Through Child-Inclusive Mediation, those ripples are given voice. We allow children to be heard—not to make the adult decisions, but to be understood by the adults making the decisions. Their perspectives can guide parenting plans and divorce decisions in ways that honor their experiences and support their emotional well-being.
When done well, it’s not just about avoiding harm; it’s about fostering resilience, healing, and hope. By including the child’s story in the process, I can help parents make choices that strengthen, not strain, their child’s sense of security and belonging.
So when people ask me, “Why Divorce Mediation?” my answer is simple: Because children deserve to be seen, heard, and considered… especially when their world is changing.
To make sure their story matters. That’s why.
